Diary 619, 50 THINGS YOU CAN LEARN FROM K-DRAMAS.

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Men who are hawt and rich fall in love with vulgar, outspoken women.

If you are a girl and have a best guy friend, he’s definitely in love with you.

Brothers/best friends/schoolmates/enemies always love the same girl.

You’re allowed to make U-turns anywhere in Korea. And there’s never traffic (or a single vehicle) on the side you want to turn to.

You get to run out of a restaurant without paying the bill. All you have to do is slap someone and storm out in tears.

Everyone has cancer.

You’ll get a flu/cold/fever after getting caught in the rain for 5 minutes.

When you’re sick, your boyfriend carries you on his back and races to the hospital. He hasn’t even heard of taxi/buses/hitching a ride.

Somebody gets into the pool/ocean with their clothes on.

If you’re rich, you’re an asshole.

If you’re poor, you’re an angel.

Your brother is a retard. If said brother is a real (blood-related) one, he is a lazy, stupid, irresponsible bum who exists by leeching off you. He’s not even handsome.

You’re not studying hard enough unless you get a nosebleed.

If you have a nosebleed, it’s most definitely cancer. And you have no money to pay for the surgery that’ll save your life. And your liver is missing. The doctors are not sure where it went, but it’s making your cancer progress faster.

You always order orange juice or coffee at a cafe. And you never drink it. EVER.

If two people are talking confidentally, they will leave the door of the room ajar so that a third party will eavesdrop on the conversation.

You go to America and you come back miraculously successful. You go to England and you come back amazingly fashionable. You stay in Korea and the only thing that’s changed is your hairstyle.

And you come back to Korea because you have cancer.

Everyone goes to the same hospital no matter where they are.

Even if you’re poor and can’t eat, you never wear the same clothes twice.

If you play a poor kid, you always have dirt on your face and your hair is always messy.

If you’re saving someone from being hit by a speeding car, you’ll push them out of the way and wait for the car to hit you instead.

Everyone has a long lost sister/brother/twin.

If you don’t want to answer your lover’s call, you can’t turn it off. You’ve got to take out the battery.

All Korean men can drink hard, smoke long, sing well and play the piano. Usually all at the same time, at the same restaurant that has a piano. The girlfriend doesn’t know this until she sees him playing the piano at night.

If you’re in a relationship, you must, at one point, leave the country and have your lover tearfully come RIGHT before you board the plane (vice versa applies as well. You can be the chaser.) 60% of the time you meet each other, and 40% you’re roaming around in circles in pass each other about 6 times. But you don’t see each other.

If you’re getting off a plane, you’re always wearing sunglasses.

All guys wear hideous tracksuits zipped up to their neck. Even if they’re only doing jump-roping.

Girls will always storm off because they’re mad. The guy will stoically grab them by them arm and swing them back – by magic, not dislocate their shoulders.

If you hit your head in a traffic accident, you might lose your memory. But don’t worry, you will get it back when you hit your head a second time.

Surprises ALWAYS backfire.

There will be situations in an elevator and in a toilet. In the elevator, you gotta get stuck with the bastard you’re trying to avoid. In the toilet scene, there’s a high probability you get caught by that bastard you’re trying to avoid.

Or most likely because you’re in the men’s toilet.

Unless you’re fabulously rich, your in-laws will always hate you.

So will your sister-in-law.

Your brother-in-law might have a crush on you.

There are only 2 ways to kiss. You either press your lips against theirs with your mouth completely shut in a long and comfortable kiss, OR you devour the other person and suck their soul out. In both instances, the world spins.

If a car ever breaks down or runs out of gas, it will happen on a small rural road with no other traffic, late at night. The area will also have no cellphone coverage, and you gotta walk the whole 10 miles back to civilisation in your 5-inch heels.

If you want 2 rooms in a hotel, only one will be available, and that one room will only have one bed.

You’ll get pregnant the first time you have sex.

You’ll get pregnant if he kisses you on the forehead.

Hell – you’ll get pregnant if you hold hands.

If you overcome great obstacles to be together, one of you must die. Probably due to cancer.

A guy and a girl on a bus must sit in the rear next to the right-hand window. A lone girl/guy sitting at that spot will reminisce about the time when he/she did have someone sitting beside him/her.

One man can kick the butts of 6 gangsters, especially when they all stand in a circle and attack the guy 1 by 1. When each of them get their butts PWNED, they wise up and attack the guy at the same time. Then the guy will get pulverized and bleed out onto the dusty concrete floor of the empty warehouse they found to fight in. And the girl will have watched this the entire time, screaming in horror. Instead of calling 119, she’ll just watch and cry. But it’s okay. Because the next day the guy will be fine with a few random bandages and a few scars on the face. But never a black eye.

Good girls don’t drive cars. Bad girls do. Well, a good girl just might drive, but she will do it so badly it’s a wonder she was ever given a license.

Rich people live in mansions surrounded by brick walls. The others live in shacks atop high buildings in downtown Seoul, or in hillside slums on the outskirts of the city.

Korean schools and universities suck. To study anything serious, you must go abroad.

If you study in the States (preferably Harvard), you are one of the top students and you can speak perfect English (as assumed by the reactions of those around you). Why the rest of the world OUTSIDE the TV can’t understand a single word uttered in your melodramatic voice is beyond me.

For one reason or another, a guy comes out of the bathroom naked/chest bared. Utterly shocked, you cover your eyes while screaming and pointing at him, while the guy screams along and covers his… nipples?